The Healing Process
by Sakura's Pointe Shoes
Summary: Moneypenny and James have embarked on a romantic relationship, but will they have the patience and put in the effort to make it a lasting union? UPDATED CH 6
1. Wedding Reception Revelations

Title: The Healing Process

Genre: Romance

Disclaimer: I don't own James or Moneypenny, their world or the lyrics of SexyBack and Don't Know Why. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: I forgot to mention it, but I wrote this and "Scars" with Samantha Bond as Moneypenny and Pierce Brosnan as 007. I tried not to picture them, but I failed. ) She was my first Moneypenny and he my first Bond, so I couldn't help it. Aren't they cute together though? I love how she brought the spunk back to the role in Goldeneye...Anyway, read, enjoy and review if you wish.

* * *

Music blasted from the speakers, songs he didn't know that sounded reasonably modern and upbeat. James stood by the refreshments table, suspiciously close to the drinks, as he watched others dance rather than participate himself. He felt like an old relic amongst youngsters; a feeling he didn't care much to indulge in. Gail, the bride, laughed and clapped her hands after she tossed her bouquet into the hoardes of women. They all squabbled at once, screaming and shoving one another aside.

In a matter of minutes, the commotion was alleviated by the discovery of the one who ended up with the flowers. They grew quieter as everyone eyed the woman who looked spectacular in the amethyst colored gown, clutching the slightly rumpled bouquet in her arms. James was amused to see a rather disheveled Moneypenny sheepishly inching over towards him, trying to get over what was probably embarrassment. The crowd dissipated back into their own sub groups, and the reception carried on like nothing had happened.

She stumbled over the long skirt of her gown on her way to him.

"I don't deny that Gail's choice of dress turned out to be incredibly beautiful, but the designer obviously didn't think of how the bridesmaids would feel moving about in it with ridiculously high heels on-" Moneypenny complained. She set the bouquet down on the edge of the table and adjusted her skirt so it wasn't in her way. James took her hand so that she wouldn't lose her balance as she undid the straps of her shoes. They were indeed ridiculously high, at least four inches, and if that wasn't bad enough, they were stilettos as well.

"You look wonderful, Penny." He said. She smiled at him, but it didn't quite hide the grimace of pain.

"Oh yes. That's definitely going to be a blister," She groaned as she held the pair of shoes in her hand. Without hesitation, she threw them to the floor.

The mood suddenly changed as the speakers began to blast a contagious beat. An extremely synthesized man's voice came on, _"I'm bringin' sexy back..."_ Moneypenny broke into a huge grin, contrasting her partner's scowl.

"Come on James, let's dance!" She grabbed his hand and tried to lead him out, but he didn't budge.

"I don't think so, I don't do Justin Timberlake." The complete absurdity of the image sent her into a fit of laughter. "My my, 007. I'm surprised you even know his name. Oh, come on, it won't hurt to be silly for a few moments!" She tugged on his hand again and this time, he followed her. They went into the heart of the crowd, surrounded by friends and colleagues who were all moving (or trying to move) to the song.

_"-cuz you're burning up for me and that's a fact...Take 'em to da chorus! Come here girl, go 'head be gone with it..."_

It was awkward at first, Moneypenny couldn't quite figure out how to dance to a song like this and James just didn't know what the hell he was doing. With each line, she found her rhythm and soon she was shaking her hips to the music. James held her, not too much into her personal space, but close enough to be considered as her dancing partner.

He watched her, admiring her raw sensuality. It was a quality of hers that he didn't get to see very often except for when they attended events outside the office like this one. Her hair fell down her shoulders in loose waves, curling wildly around her face, and there was a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. Her mild perfume blended with her fruity shampoo pleasantly permeated the air around them.

"Good god, this is fun!" She cried through the noise, ejaculating a laugh. He grinned at her. "I didn't know you could dance like this."

"Only when it's called for," Moneypenny replied with a sparkle in her eyes. The song changed yet again, but this time neither of them could recognize it. At the moment, neither cared.

* * *

Two hours passed and they hadn't left the floor. The throng had decreased since people had started leaving as it was nearing eleven. The DJ had moved past the fast songs and began to wind down the party with slower ones. Right then, Norah Jones's "_Don't Know Why_" was playing. The song was lovely, a kind of mellow jazz that allowed Moneypenny to rest her head on James's chest. He kept his arm snugly wrapped around her waist, and they moved calmly, as if they were the only couple there.

"_Out across the endless sea, I would die of ecstasy...But I'll be a bag of bones...Driving down the road alone...My heart is drenched with wine-"_

"So...How are things with what's his name?...David, still going strong?"

She appeared puzzled at the name, but then something clicked. A shadow crossed her face, one that dimmed the light in her blue eyes.

"Ah. That David. Well, let's just say that he's not all he's cracked up to be." Her tone held resentment. James frowned.

"What's he done Penny?" She shrugged and ran the back of her hand over her forehead. She looked back at him.

"He kept questioning what I really do for a living. I had to reinforce my cover multiple times, he'd call my number at the Office constantly and ask for me. They vouched for me as an employee of Universal Exports, but he would still pester me about it all the time at home. Our conversations almost always ended badly...you get the picture. Once I even caught him looking through my things!" Her voice grew angry at that, but then it lost its sharpness immediately.

"Long story short, I threw him out and haven't heard from him for two weeks."

His arm that was around her tightened protectively. "I missed being trusted. He was a sweet chap, he meant well, but in the end it just didn't work. You were right about trying to combine this job and love. It always ends in a mess."

"Come home with me now. You know I love you," He whispered, speaking on impulse. It seemed to be a recurring trait that she brought out in him.

Her eyebrow was raised when she replied. "I wish you wouldn't say things like that."

James positioned her hand over his heart. "Can't you tell?" Moneypenny grinned a small smile, thinking this was turning into another round of banter.

"007, you're a married man! To an old fogie named SIS!" She swatted him lightly over the shoulder. He rolled his eyes in mock-exasperation.

"You would do well to accept my proposals, Penny dear." He said teasingly.

"I don't think so. But by all means, please don't stop trying." She smiled as she caressed his cheek. Those blue-grey eyes were so diverting, every feature on his face radiated masculinity. She mused that he would probably make a very good boyfriend, if he ever changed his ways. She gazed further into his eyes and figured that the walls that guarded his innermost thoughts would always be erected too high to let anyone fully in. He had been betrayed one too many times, she also believed that this man couldn't possibly let go of a lifestyle he'd known for half his life. 007 and James were two entirely different people, James was not free to commit himself to a serious relationship especially with what happened the last time he tried to settle into a normal man's life.

She knew that he was a womanizer. After all she was the one who had to edit those parts out of his mission reports before M read them. She also knew his type, she'd seen it again and again. The ones he had a liking for were edgy, glamorous, they lived for the day somewhat like he did, not to mention they could shoot a gun.

She was comfy in a ponytail and jogging shorts. She was always one for permanence, while she was only an average markswoman.

Moneypenny was amused by her quickness to compare herself to James's women. Jealousy was not a frequent emotion that she encountered especially for someone that wasn't hers to start with and she didn't feel inclined to get herself all worked up over silly little things like this.

These thoughts weren't getting her anywhere. She took a sweeping survey of the place and noticed that the bar had become inconsiderably less occupied.

"I'm thirsty. Want to buy me a glass of wine?" Her eyes danced with confidence. Anybody could see that Jane Vivien Moneypenny was her own woman and scarcely felt threatened by others. Tonight she was glorious in her forwardness, her ability to attract stares from plenty of men was noticeable yet she barely so much as flicked her eyes in their general direction.

"Only if I'm allowed to join you."

"Why of course." She replied, inwardly embarrassed for sounding not unlike the coquettes James was infamous for bedding.

They abandoned the dance floor which was only being used by about maybe five or six couples. Moneypenny took a seat on a bar stool and James sat right next to her. The bartender immediately asked for their orders, his was his trademark vodka and hers was a Waltzing Matilda. He raised an eyebrow at her choice of drink, to which she answered with a shrug.

"I feel like one."-Was her honest answer. He found her utterly endearing in the respect that she had no idea of all the glares he was receiving from surrounding men. She just wasn't interested in their attentions, whether or not it was because of her recently failed relationship he did not know. But right here in the moment, he was the companion she happened to choose for the evening and it seemed that a lot of people weren't very pleased with him.

They drank at leisure, conversed about common interests and laughed together. James was surprised to discover she liked hunting.

"Oh but I don't go anymore," She exclaimed, "I think it's cruel nowadays, when I was growing up in Africa I hunted out of necessity rather than thinking of the sport as a hobby."

He nodded his agreement, then paused to think."You never did talk much of your childhood. I'd like to hear some tales of the young Moneypenny, no doubt she was already a skilled typist by the age of three." James said half-jokingly. She smiled at him but said nothing, she only took a sip from her glass.

"Actually, I was a simple child. I rolled in dirt, played with the animals and helped out on my parent's farm." She recalled fondly. He noticed some sadness tinging her remark, she was obviously homesick despite her years in England.

He couldn't help a chuckle at the thought of this well-groomed, no nonsense woman rolling around in filth and munching on insects as her parents scolded her.

A thought struck him, a memory of reading her personnel file a long time ago when he was a newly minted agent and she had just been recruited to work for the service. Like him, Moneypenny had lost both her parents prematurely. If his mind served him correctly, she lost her father first when he was commisioned in Russia during the Cold War and had gone missing. His body was never recovered and she kept up hope that eventually dissipated. Her mother on the other hand slowly succumbed to grief and then was unfortunately caught in terrible crossfire during a bloody feud between two tribes in Nairobi.

James didn't know what to say. He sensed that discussion on her childhood was not something she liked to envoke, so he sought to turn the conversation a different course through humor.

"Well, maybe I can try my hand at barbecuing grasshoppers and roasting beetles one day. You can sample them."

She snorted softly, but he was glad to see that the wistful longing in her eyes had evaporated. "Maybe I will take you up on that offer, after you arrive home from Korea."

The reminder hung unspoken in the space between them. It worried her and it showed in the way she fiddled with her necklace, after all there was no guarantee that he would return home safely. The outcome of his upcoming mission was unpredictable; all she had were figures and statistics, probablilities of his chances for survival that were almost always low.

Moneypenny took a look at the clock that was mounted on the wall by the shelves of bottles behind the counter. It was 2:34 am, and now that she thought about it, she felt tired down to her bones. James didn't look tired, but he was trained to go for days without rest. Ever the gentleman, he would probably let her retire out of friendly concern.

"I think it's time I caught a cab." She admitted. James paid for their drinks and left the reception after bidding goodbyes to Gail and her new hubby. James was even kind enough to whistle at a driver for her. He pulled up to the curb and Moneypenny lifted the train of her gown so that she could successfully get into the car without hurting herself or James.

"Thank you. I had a good time tonight." The light from the streetlamp highlighted her features, making her eyes more prominent than ever, her cheeks more defined and lips full and luscious.

"You're very welcome. Good night." He lingered in the door for a second before he shut it and the cab drove off.

Moneypenny spent much of the ride home thinking of him and the way they seemed to fit each other perfectly as he held her close while dancing.

* * *

The next few days were not very eventful. She reported to the office as usual at 0900 hours and there were only minimal tasks to be done. Mostly, she spent time behind her desk, occupying herself with her weekly briefings on current operations and affairs.

This morning was no different from the rest. She rose early to walk her standard poodle named Uhuru around the block as well as getting some exercise along the way. She left her flat at around 7:30 to run some errands before going to work, which gave her a leisurely two hour window for her to run around the city. By the time she reached the office, it was well into mid-morning.

She sank into the swivel chair behind her desk, leaning slightly forward so that she could leaf through the papers in her inbox. The stack was minimal, lessening the strange pressure in her chest. The less papers there were, it meant the less casualties she had to take care of on behalf of the 00 agents. Other than signing those out and fetching M her coffee, there wasn't anything else for her to do.

Her restlessness led her to the firing range, M herself told her to take a forty five minute lunch break and to check back in after in case something did turn up. Moneypenny checked out all the equipment; a Baby Browning, some earmuffs, gloves and ammunition. She settled herself in a booth more or less in the center, somewhat exhilarated at the thought of sharpening her shooting skills. She requested to have still targets for twenty minutes and then shoot-no shoot targets after.

_'Focus, Jane.' _She steeled her wits, raising the Browning. She switched off the safety and took aim at her first target. It must have been at least ten feet away, not very challenging even for her, and she pulled the trigger with lady-like grace. The sound of the shot vibrated through her, every muscle tensing to counter the force of it.

She went through each one pretty easily, twenty minutes passed like clockwork. She lowered her arms, noticing a tiny yet bothersome ache in her shoulders. Moneypenny shook it off, thinking of how she used to hunt wild game when she was a child and could track prey for hours before getting tired.

_'You're not fourteen anymore, old girl,'_ A voice pointed out to her sarcastically.

With an irritation at her own body, she spotted the first target of her shoot-no shoot session. It was a man in a aggressively pinstriped suit, pointing a machine gun menacingly at her. She moved on reflex alone as she shot at him. Her bullet pierced him through his stomach, considerably lowering than where she was hoping to hit, but for the moment she was glad that she got him at all. The next one was a woman with a rather large handbag, if she wasn't paying more attention, she would have missed the tiny pistol she had hidden behind it.

Moneypenny chewed the inside of her lip with the passing of each target. Every shot that she fired, her arms felt heavier and her fingers lost their agility. She felt a bead of sweat rolling down her forehead, but she didn't dare lift a hand to wipe it off.

The tiny piece of metal in her hands had so much potential for disaster, thoughts of what could happen if something went wrong jetted fleetingly through her mind. The mere feeling of the bullet being pelted out with all that force began to make her nervous, uneasy with all the power she possessed despite the fact that she was only holding a tiny pistol. She was immeasurably relieved when the signal came on for the end of her session.

She placed the gun on the counter with a trembling hand before removing her earmuffs. Her hair was mussed, red strands going left and right in uneven waves. She reached up to run her fingers through it, not really caring about styling it. Her tank top was wrinkled, her sweat pants rolled up over her knees. She looked nothing like the put-together woman she was most of the time.

"Now I know I should never make you very angry with me," A wonderfully teasing voice said. She looked up to see James dressed similarly with his own set of shooting equipment. His eyes were slightly admiring, forgetting that she was a civilian and gazing at her like a fellow agent.

"I wouldn't get too close to myself, if I were you. Never know what might happen..." Moneypenny spun the Baby around on her index finger. She leaned against the wall, appearing invitingly challenging and ready for a match with her favorite spy.

"Ah, you'd never hurt me. You couldn't bear to see me in pain for a second."

"Care to find out?" She retorted. She smirked, lips pouting in a way that inexplicably made him a little more eager to say something witty. He found it pleasing to see her laugh.

"Maybe later. I've got my own session to complete. Q's recommendation," He explained.

"Ah. Of course. What time are you and the American leaving tomorrow?"

"Her name _is_ Giacinta."

"Ah," She couldn't help the tiny bit of scorn from her voice. James didn't appear to notice, he looked rather preoccupied. Moneypenny knew that this was going to be another invitation to that post-mission dinner that never seemed to happen.

"Can we have dinner when I get back?" He asked openly. For once, she had an excuse to decline.

"I'm actually thinking of using up all those weeks of leave I saved up. I haven't asked M yet, but I've already got a replacement ready."

He frowned. "How about drinks again then? We can go someplace tropical, Boracay is beautiful this time of year-"

"No thank you."

"Pen,"

"Ask one of the other girls, they're all much prettier than I. Ask Mary in Q Branch-"

"I want your mind, not your body."

"No." Her answer was firmly grounded. He seemed to back away, disappointment furrowed in his dark brow. She wondered why it was so natural for her to refuse, she felt like she was fighting fate after each exchange between them.

James only looked at her with mild anguish, it was an expression that rattled her because she didn't think it would hurt him too deeply. Why now? Why was he so pained when she had said no for years and years, back then he didn't so much as skip a beat when she played her 'hard to get' routine?

"Give my regards to David then. Have a nice holiday," His indifference and sudden cordial manner threw her off, but he turned away from her and readied his gun. His earmuffs were placed on, so she couldn't even say goodbye to him.

"Goodbye James." Moneypenny murmured sadly as she left the shooting range. The gunfire was terrifying in its volume, each shot felt as if it were aimed at her but the bullets never hit. She wondered if this was going to be the last time she'd see him.

TBC...

A/N: So...what do ya think? I worked for so long on this fic...Please review! "Old Wounds Reopened" is being polished and cleaned up, so that's what's coming after this.


	2. Unexpected Circumstances

Title: The Healing Process

Chapter Two: Unexpected Circumstances

A/N: In which our dear Jane has some surprises thrown at her, and she deals with some nasty emotions.

(Disclaimer from chapter one still applies)

* * *

It was a week before she saw 007 again. She later learned through his mission report that he had run off with the Giacinta girl, or "Jinx" as he had come to call her. She was supremely annoyed that he had to hide away with another woman just to make himself feel better. She'd never tell him about the pang of childish vindictiveness that engulfed her upon reading his report, or how she had used Q's VR technology to have an impulsive snog with his electronic counterpart right before he sent it in. 

Besides the latter emotion, Moneypenny was also remorseful about the blunt manner of her rebuff and to have caused him emotional trouble while he was probably already battling the anxiety over his mission. In retrospect, she supposed she could have laughed it off with non chalance. Well, maybe that would have been worse. She still felt like she could have handled herself better.

Despite her guilt, she could not deny her enjoyment of the events that occurred during James's absence. She could not say she wasn't pleasantly surprised to find a shame-faced David standing on her doorstep with a shabby bouquet of Freesians in his hand.

He smiled shyly at her and offered her the flowers, clearly not expecting to be let inside. The analytical, wary portion of her conscience snapped at her that she should just slam the door shut in his face, the continual bursts of anger that had fueled her energy since her rebuff of James's advances still gripped her fiercely. The look in his eyes was one of complete sheepishness, it seemed to melt her resolve and for some miraculous reason, she decided to let him in.

David handed the flowers to her with a smile that slightly crinkled the corners of his eyes. Moneypenny accepted them with grace before going into her kitchen cupboards in search of a suitable vase for them. She filled it with water and set them on her dining table, admitting that they did make a rather nice centerpiece. He stood behind her, looking as though he didn't quite know what to do next. He chewed on his bottom lip, a habit they both shared.

"Look Jane, you know I'm not eloquent or anything like that. I came to you to apologise," She was mildly surprised at that, but she said nothing. She waited for him to continue.

"I want to start fresh. I really like you, don't get me wrong, and I've been thinking a lot for the past few weeks. If you say no, I'll respect your privacy and opinion, I won't bother you anymore. But if your answer is yes-" He took her hand between his larger ones in a show of passionate feeling. "Then I swear I'll give my everything into making this work."

She contemplated his speech, throwing around thoughts in her head. She had to react fast, or he might take it as a refusal. His tone was so warm, coupled with his endearing manner, she thought that it would take a truly cold woman to turn him away. He was comparable to a large teddy bear, adorable and huggable, and always there right when you need him. He never ran off with other women, or played confusing mind games with her...

She could imagine a future with him, kids possibly, but most importantly, she relished the idea of having someone to come home to night after night.

David was the total polar opposite of the man she was so angry with. He had a thick head of straw like blonde hair, and a open face that was rarely as guarded as 007's. He was slightly chubby with strong underlying muscles while his belly looked as though it would never be capable of toning up. In contrast to James's chiseled face, suave hair, and muscular physique, she found him pleasing to the eye. Not exactly the 'oh God, rip your clothes off' feeling that James could invoke, with David, it was more a 'I'll wake up early on Sunday mornings and make you breakfast in bed' kind of look that made her heart flutter.

"Okay. I'd like that a lot, Dave. Let's not rush things, take it slow," She murmured, recognizing a flutter of joy in his warm amber eyes. "But if I ever catch you rifling through my things again, I swear to God that I wi-" Her words were lost as he enveloped her in a kiss. She melted into his embrace with ease, once again familiarizing herself with his taste. He was mildly sweet, tinged with a hint of peppermint, probably from an Altoid he consumed before arriving at her place. She felt vaguely exasperated when she realized he had intended to kiss her all along.

He released her from their kiss but kept his arms wrapped around her waist. She smiled at him with grace, she truly did like this man, but a tiny part of her subconcious knew that he could never be what she wanted.

_And just what the hell do you want anyway, you stupid wretch! You never did appreciate a good opportunity when it comes to you. It's not as if you have a queue of men lining up at your door..._

She mercilessly quelled that voice in her head. She tuned it out, then wondered if she was becoming a mild schizophrenic what with her inner psyche constantly screaming at her and all that.

"Shall we go out for dinner? Or I can cook, if you want." Moneypenny asked, lightly stroking his chest with one hand. He shrugged, a gesture that was uniquely and entirely his own.

"I s'pose we could go out. I don't want you to worry about cooking, I just might not survive," He winked. She flushed with annoyance, swatting him gently with the hand that had been on his chest.

"That's the last time you insult my culinary talents, David Jeremiah Hardcastle!"

He cringed. "I hate my middle name."

She glowered in triumph. "Of course you do. Now can we get a move on? I'm starving."

"It's this side of you I miss the most, Janey." He was sincere, she realized with a jolt. After another brief kiss, she grabbed her coat and purse and followed him out her front door.

_That was probably the easiest you've ever made up with a man._ She noted wryly. She couldn't stifle the bubble of hope that welled up in her heart.

* * *

When she got up the next morning, she was faintly surprised to find a heavy arm draped over her waist, and a tousle haired man spooned up against her. She grinned with radiance, the past weeks she spent fretting over their spoiled relationship canceled out by the fact that he was here, lying in her bed as if they had never skipped a beat. She slowly slipped of the mattress and onto the floor, bare feet touching the hard wood. 

She shivered, her nudity left her exposed to the morning chill. She grabbed her silk bathrobe that was hung on a hook behind her bedroom door and proceeded to the bathroom. Once she was covered, she surveyed her appearance in the large mirror hung on the wall over her sink counter.

She was sporting a bed-head that was frighteningly tangled and snarled, and her skin on her face was slightly reddened, she remembered that she'd slept on her side most of the night and her cheek was caught between her pillow and the sheets. She blanched as she felt rather than saw the preposterously large love mark beneath her jaw. It was a blatantly obvious tinge of red, and it trailed off almost to her neck.

It would take a ton of cover up to hide that. She rolled her eyes, feeling rather like an embarassed teenager. She realized that she might as well have been a naughty school girl again, after last night's fervent night-time events. She had fallen asleep blessedly sated, in the arms of a man she adored and recently won back. Jane ran her hands through her messy hair and went to draw herself a bath. Her tub filled slowly, so she sat on the edge and lazily dragged her fingers back and forth through the rising water.

Loathe as she was to admit it, she found herself thinking of James. She needed to see him, talk to him, the reassure herself that he was indeed alive and home from Korea. She shuddered to think of those horrid eighteen months when he had been jailed there. She absently thought of the time when they sat in his living room and talked over coffee. He didn't say much save for his experiences with the scorpions, but the haunted, hollowed expression on his face had told her all she needed to know.

It was a look she never wanted to see on his face again.

With smug satisfaction, she remembered how it was she that he wanted to comfort him. James Bond was a proud man, and proud men did not go to anybody but the one person they trusted with their lives to confide in. Jane's satisfaction faded when her age-old longing for him surfaced from the depths of her heart. She hated that he could affect her even when she hadn't so much as talked to him in days. It cut her to the quick when she discovered that he had taken Giacinta Johnson to a remote mountain in Korea, where they no doubt shagged each other's brains out.

All because she refused to have drinks with him...

What an arrogant, immature, selfish, _stupid_, infuriating, insensitive, smooth-talking bastard he had been! She thought viciously. He knew that she'd be the first to read his report, so instead of personally explaining to her what he had been doing while he was missing for a week, he had just put it in his report as if it were no more significant than if he'd leisurely drank a cup of tea while piloting a burning, plummeting air plane to his death.

"Son of a bitch." She whispered to herself. She removed her bathrobe and sunk into the steaming water with a deep sigh. She filled it with jasmine scented bubbles, they served to calm her. The morning light filtered in between the blinds of the small window, casting a slight glow on the burgundy walls of her bathroom. The water soothed her sore muscles, she leaned her head back and rested her arms on either side of the tub. Laying still for a while, Jane sought to compartmentalize her emotions and bring some semblance of order back into the flow of her thoughts.

That was why she was so startled when David opened the door and padded inside with her mobile in his hand. It was ringing loudly, it probably woke him up. She grinned apologetically and took it from him.

"Jane Moneypenny," She said non-commitally as she played with a bubble. David stood beside her, sleepiness still clouding his features. He was dressed only in blue and white striped boxers, bare chested and utterly, utterly adorable. She looked up at him through her lashes and she immediately recognized stirring desire in his eyes.

"Oh. Right now?" _It's Saturday, for God's sake._ She moaned mentally. Then she realized at a sluggish speed that normally she was the one making these calls to unsuspecting 00 agents.

"Okay. Right. I'll be there in...I'll be there. Thank you," She said before clicking her phone shut. David raised an eyebrow at her uncharacteristic zoned out behavior.

"Jane, you look as though you could sleep through ongoing construction if it were right next to you." He remarked with amusement. She smirked in reply. "And whose fault was it that I wasn't able to get a good night's sleep?"

He went "hmmm..." and she was tempted to splash a little water at him. He knelt down onto the tile and rested his chin on the ledge of the tub.

"Shall I make breakfast for you, or are you going to leave as soon as you're done?"

"I think I'll just have some coffee, darling."

He huffed indignantly and said, "Do you eat like this all the time? No wonder you're so thin, you'll be practically nothing if you carry on like this."

"Hmph, am I too thin for your liking? I didn't hear any complaints about my body last night..." She trailed off seductively. They both laughed at her over exaggeration of a sexy voice, each amazed at this easy camaraderie that had returned to their relationship.

He leaned in to kiss her and was accepted with much welcome. He pulled away with reluctance and rose up, much to her protest.

"You may not be hungry, but I am, and I'm going to have a huge fry-up, provided you have anything in your kitchen worth using." He declared self-indulgently. "And I can't very well keep kissing you while you're in there. Don't you know what it does to a man when he sees his woman so..._wet_?"

Jane gaped at his double entendre and this time, she did hurl some water at his hurriedly retreating back.

* * *

It took her forty five minutes to get to Vauxhall Cross thanks to a horrible long line at Starbucks and equally horrible traffic. She was dressed in slim black trousers and a creme blouse that was trapeze cut. She didn't know what to do with her hair, so she opted to milk the messy bed head look and half curled strands all over her head with a curling iron. She decided she didn't look completely hopeless, so she took off with a quick kiss to David. 

She must've looked happier than people were used to, because Charles Robinson stopped to comment on her healthy appearance. She thanked him for the compliment but inside she was snickering, _Yes, Charley dear that's what happens after a night of excellent lovemaking and a damned good Frappucino with caramel and a caloric dose of whipped cream._ She briskly walked to the lifts and hit the "up" arrow. She waited patiently for the doors to open. When they did, she was gobsmacked to find James standing there, dressed to kill as usual. She fought the urge to back away and take the next lift, but she steeled her wits together and stepped in beside him.

To say that it was the most awkward elevator ride in her life would be an understatement. She could only manage to stutter, "Good morning, James." He was polite enough to reply, but after that, he kept his eyes firmly trained on the doors. She stared at him out of the corner of her eye. The mother hen in her looked him over and noted that he appeared to be well. His face was filled out where it had been gaunt upon his return to Britain. The friend in her was still brooding about his affair with Agent Johnson. However, she refused to say anything at all. If someone was to apologise, it would most certainly be him.

Silence encroached on the atmosphere, both were itching to have it out with the other. James was silently counting in his head until she finally said something.

"You look rested," She admitted quietly, fingering the pockets of her leather satchel. She hoped the bitterness in her tone didn't come across too obviously.

He nodded. "Some downtime was all I needed."

"Tell me, 007," The frosty use of his number riveted his attention, "Was it your normal callous insensitivity that was talking when you mentioned your affair with Johnson, or was that just some bitter attempt to guilt me into sleeping with you?"

This wasn't the Moneypenny he shared office banter with, or the one he came to fancy. Her face was arranged delicately into chilling indifference, usually expressive eyes masked with a hazy anger. She herself was surprised at how cold she could sound but she didn't show it. She wanted to get some retribution, make him feel what she'd been dealing with.

"I- I never-"

She cut him off without hesitation.

"Never what? Never presumed that I'd care enough to be bothered by it? Never thought that anyone would actually turn you down? Well, here's what James, _I_ never thought you'd be so petty to grab the nearest woman and take her to a convenient little hidey hole just because the one you wanted didn't want you in return."

Moneypenny was astounded by how much it actually hurt her, it was as though she were scolding him for cheating on her. She reminded herself that they were hardly a couple, and that her tirade was entirely inappropriate. James just stared at her, trying to find and offer up some kind of feeble excuse and looking every bit the philandering husband.

"Moneypenny, if you want to sort this out like a civilized person, perhaps we may continue this another time. I have to return my watch to Q, and I've neither the strength or patience to deal with you right now."

He sounded weary and resolute all of a sudden. With that, the doors opened, miraculously on cue, and he exited without a word or backwards glance to her. Moneypenny was nearly blind with rage, her infamous temper wrapping its tight hold over her. She'd never before been this angry with him except for when she first met him. She pulled back a fist and punched through the air, seething with contempt. She almost felt sorry for the next person to cross her.

The lift closed and continued on its course, up and away to her office, where she sincerely hoped there was an international emergency that required loads of time and attention so that she might drown herself safely in her work.

* * *

As it turned out, there was no pressing international emergency which she so hoped for, only stacks of unsigned documents, files and memos to write. She logged into the system and found that she had several new emails. Some of them were junk, and others were electronic receipts. One subject line caught her sharp eye. It read, 'Vacation, anyone?' She gasped softly when she saw who sent it, it was an old friend from her university days, a woman named Isa Abago that she still kept in touch with. She clicked on it and read it immediately. 

_**Janey!**_** (Or do you prefer to be called Miss Moneypenny all the time now?)**

**It's been too long since we've last talked, and I'm deeply ashamed at my neglect of answering your letters/emails. I'd like to catch up on old times. Let me explain further...**

**My uncle recently passed away and left ownership of his hotel to me. Yes, his hotel in Boracay. Yes, it's built quite literally on the beach. And it's all mine, meaning free rooms, free food and endless sun on the beautiful beach...**

**I know this is impulsive and probably silly, but do you want to come to the Philippines and stay at my hotel for a few weeks? I promise it's COMPLETELY wonderful. Knowing you, you're probably working yourself into a pretzel. I'm sure a few weeks of R & R won't kill you. I attached some pictures of me, the beach and the penthouse suite to this email. Let me know as soon as possible, I'm sure you've got endless connections to handle all the airport stuff.**

**Much love,**

**-Isa**

She chewed on her lower lip and contemplated her best friend's offer. What the hell was she doing back in the Philippines anyway? Last time she checked, Isa had been living with her husband in Los Angeles. She rolled her eyes. Isa had always been a jet setting woman, she never stayed in one place for more than a month. Her defence was always, "You know me, I'm far too much a Sagittarius to be happy in one place."

Moneypenny opened the attachments and her breath stopped in her throat at the sight of the crystal clear blue water. The sand was white and fine, clean and welcoming. She closed her eyes and imagined tanning on a lounge chair in that setting. She opened them again and saw that Isa was clad in a scant white eyelet coverup with a red bikini underneath. Her skin was dark and smooth, her complexion that of a rich olive color. Her eyes were hidden behind oversized D&G sunglasses, but her mouth was spread in a wide smile that revealed two rows of perfectly straight, white teeth.

_Maybe this is what I need. I need to escape this city...And maybe I'll look like _that_ after._

She studied her friend's obvious elation, envying the easy glamour that she seemed to emit. Her easy-going, light mannered stance leapt out at her from the monitor, and it was then that she knew she was desperately over due for a vacation. Moneypenny began to compose a reply as her fingers hovered over her keyboard.

**Isa darling, I trust my subject line is rather self-explanitory. I'd bloody love to join you in Boracay, if the offer is sincere. You're right as usual, I've been working myself into the ground and I've had so many boyfriend issues. I think I need to bake in the sun, go shopping and get completely pissed, who better to do it with than you? I'll get my passport and things in order, it may take me a couple weeks, but I'd like to be there by the end of this month. Save me a spot on the beach, love!**

**Hugs,**

**Jane**

**p.s. Please don't call me "Janey." Only my father called me that, when I was very young, I've no liking for the silly nickname anymore.**

**p.p.s. As you can see by the stiffness and cranky tone of my previous line, you can tell that I definitely need to get out of Britain. **

Pushing images of the Tropics to the back of her mind, Moneypenny set all her focus onto her work. She grabbed the first paper on the top of her inbox stack.

She vowed to ask M to grant her leave as soon as she was available.

* * *

Not too long after, Moneypenny's buzzer went off and M spoke. 

"Moneypenny, I need you to make copies of the budget proposal and send them to all the departments. Consult with Bill first, I want him to check it over before I go to Downing St. for lunch with the PM." Her clipped voice was devoid of any emotion as usual, and Moneypenny could just picture her trade mark stony expression as she told her what to do. She hit the reply button and said, "Right away, boss."

She stood, habitually smoothing her blouse before heading towards the entrance of M's office. She went in without knocking, since she was one of the only people who could get away with intruding on her boss.

"M?" She asked tentatively, trying to discern if the older woman was in the right mood to accept a request for a holiday.

"What is it, Moneypenny?" She hadn't looked up from her paperwork, making it difficult for Jane to tell what kind of mood she was in. Her voice was soft and flat, in her usual unemotional, brisk tone.

"Erm, would it be alright if I asked you for some leave?"

She figured she should just throw the question out there and see what happened.

M finally looked up at her and narrowed her sharp eyes in the slightest bit. She wore a mask of cool indifference, a mask that slowly disappeared when she eyed her personal assistant. Surprisingly, Moneypenny didn't find herself on the wrong end of a verbal bashing.

"Leave? Jane, you never ask for leave," M admonished. She appeared convinced that Moneypenny was some kind of superhuman freak that could run solely on cigarettes and caffeine.

"Well, I know that, but I think I've been spreading myself too thin recently. I would like a chance to rest." The last part of her sentence was spoken with honest desperation.

"How long do you require?"

"About two weeks?" Moneypenny asked hopefully.

After what seemed to be an eternity, M nodded curtly. "Granted. Where do you plan on going?"

"The Philippines. Boracay Island to be exact, I'll be catching up with an old friend."

M nodded again. "I trust I don't have to remind you to notify their government about your impending presence?"

Moneypenny repressed a smile at the irony of the older woman's statement. "Of course, M. Thank you."

Before she could completely exit the office, she heard M faintly say, "Running away from one's problems can be therapeutic at best, but when you get back, they'll still be here."

She glanced over her shoulder. M was now standing by the window with her back towards her, but she could almost picture the wistful expression on her face.

As Jane closed the door and settled back into her station, she could not find the strength to contain her excitement and happiness that she did indeed have two weeks to herself in a beautiful, tropical country. She could escape from all that was screwed up in her life, if only for a limited time. But who cares? A little time was better than none at all! She found that she was nearly delirious.

_God, do I even have any good bikinis left? Worse, do I still have a body worthy of wearing one? _

She laughed to herself at the thought.

TBC...

A/N: FINALLY, huh? So, it seems our Pen has to choose between two men, Mr. Hot or Mr. Safe...LOL, it took me forever to rearrange my timeline. There's plenty more where this came from, so don't give up on me yet! Please review. )


	3. Closure

Title: The Healing Process

Chapter Three: Closure

A/N: Pen's back from holiday and is blindsided by yet more unexpected events.

(Disclaimer from Ch. 1 still applies)

* * *

Never again would Jane take clean air for granted. She stepped out of the plane and into the hall where she followed the passengers in front of her to baggage claim, fighting drowsiness and hunger as she lugged her limbs along. 

Her time with Isa had been marvelous. Most of the time was spent under umberellas with excessively girly drinks and eying the dishy waiters that came to take their orders. She enjoyed swimming in the warm-and-clear as bathwater sea, as well as a variety of water sports and sailing during sunset. As a result of spending so much time outside, she found that she formed a faint tan line on her shoulders and back.

Now it was back to reality. Back to work, back to David, back to James...

Her shoulders slumped dejectedly as she thought of her dark super agent. They weren't even in a relationship and their bond was irrevocably altered. She wondered if he would simply stop talking to her and they would lose everything they had between them.

She replayed their conversation in the elevator all the time, despite how she tried to bury it in the back of her mind. In retrospect, she knew she had been too horrible, too jealous, and too attached. She had been completely transparent!

She was determined to apologize, to make him see that she didn't mean those things she called him. Those words had been ripped from her throat by an unstoppable ferocity that she had no control over, it was as though she could see the scene playing out but had no willpower to stop it from happening.

It took an hour for her bags to show up, they rolled in on the conveyor belt as she reached from them and lifted them off. That was when she saw David waiting for her near the exit.

She dropped everything and ran to him, he held out his arms for her. He caught her with ease and laughed as she buried her face in his shoulder.

"I missed you." Moneypenny whispered. He responded with a kiss on her head.

"I missed you too. Let me take your bags so we can go to the car and you can tell me all about your trip."

She nodded and went back to her stuff, grabbing hold of one rolling bag while he took her other two. They headed out together, he told her what he did while she was gone, about his job (he manages a grocery store) and what he made for lunch.

"Tuna sandwiches. I know it's not anything fancy, but you're refrigerator is frightfully empty since you cleared it before you left."

"That's fine. I just want to eat and fall into bed."

"_That_ can be arranged."

"I want to fall into bed to sleep, you one-track minded pervert."

They dissolved into laughter as they got into his Mini.

* * *

Since M allowed her two days to readjust to British time, Moneypenny decided that after unpacking, she'd go about redecorating her flat. David only stayed over sometimes, they were by far not ready to move in together, so she was free to furnish it however she wanted. 

"I want my sitting room to have red walls." She announced as she eyed the room with a frown.

"Red? Won't that look a bit garish?" David asked as he focused in on the football game on the telly.

"Well, if it's done correctly, it should look elegant rather then garish." She wasn't really paying attention to him, just as he wasn't really listening to her, they were just going through the motions of appearing to have a discussion.

After taking down a few of her picture frames and paintings, she ran a hand over the surface of her currently white wall and nodded decisively.

"Yes, red ought to do it. Just get some new lamps and the lighting will be beautiful."

"_Bloody hell!_"

She jumped reflexively, her judo training made her tense and ready to spring.

"Damn it, stupid bugger. Could've made a pass to him instead..."

When Jane realized David was talking to the telly, she snorted in amusement and then carried on with moving the frames she dislodged to another room. She leaned them against the wall in her bedroom where they would stay until she was done painting the walls red.

She heard her doorbell ring and the unmistakeable thuds of David's feet as he ran to get the door, no doubt anxious about the bits of the game he was missing.

She dusted her hands off and straightened out her tee shirt and denim bermuda shorts as she walked out into her hallway to see who was there.

"Dave, who is it?"

David stood still, holding the door open to reveal a gobsmacked James Bond standing on her door mat.

"James! Erm..." She risked a glance at her beau, who had averted his gaze and went back into the sitting room to leave her alone with her visitor.

"Moneypenny," He started, hands in his pockets, "I-"

She stopped him, holding her palms up. "Let's go to the pub down the street."

He nodded, not at all discombobulated by her interruption. He gave her a few minutes to grab a sweatshirt and to tell David about her plans.

She jogged down her front steps after locking the door and fell into step with him.

"I think we'd better talk." He said honestly. She didn't seem angry or put-off by his presence, so he took that as a good sign.

"Yes, so do I. First of all, I am very sorry about all those things I said to you. I honestly did not mean them...I was so jealous." The last word was noticeably quieter than the rest.

"I too must apologize for pressing you so hard to go out with me. Can we be friends? Like old times? None of this silliness, when we are bothered by something, we should come right out and say it."

She smiled sideways at him, the gesture made something behind his sternum flutter.

"Right."

"Good. Now, let's have dinner and catch up on missed time."

"Sounds like a plan, Batman." She replied. They walked at an unhurried gait, turning the street corner when they reached it, and then pausing when they reached the pub. He held the door for her and he immediately followed suit.

They agreed to sit at the bar counter by the window. The food didn't take long to order and cook, she got a garden salad and he got a chicken sandwich.

Halfway through their meal, James asked, "I wonder if you'd think me impertinent, but I am actually rather curious about your stay in the Philippines."

She swallowed a bite of leaves and met his gaze.

"How did you know where I'd been?"

"I wheedled it out of the evil Queen of numbers yesterday."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you did."

"Well, are you going to tell me about it or not?"

She took her time in taking another bite of salad before she obliged him.

"In one word? Heaven. I could happily die sipping a Strawberry Dachary over there, doing nothing _at all."_

"It must have been truly spectacular if the ever-busy Jane Moneypenny could admit to enjoying herself on vacation." He mused with a grin.

She shrugged with a raised eyebrow, reaching up to her forehead to brush an errant curl away from her face.

"Yeah, it was pretty bloody wonderful. Have you ever been to the Philippines?" She was curious if he'd been in that area of the world before she'd known him. He nodded negatively.

"Not long enough to do anything, only during stopovers to other neighboring countries."

"It's similar to other South-East Asian countries I suppose, climate and weather-wise. Humid and bright, it rains without warning. The vegetation is absolutely beautiful, lush and green, but unfortuantely it provides shelter to the nastiest insects. The people are warm, hospitable, friendly. I arrived in Manila and stayed there overnight before I caught another plane at a domestic airport. That took me to Caticlan Island, where I had to take a van, a Bangka boat, and another van to reach Boracay Island..." She trailed off as if she were remembering her journey.

He sipped some beer as she sighed.

"The travelling was very much worth the seclusion the island offered. There were not very many tourists around, thankfully. The first couple of days were spent exploring the place, I went snorkeling a lot, and sailing too. But then I realized that sailing was far too romantic an activity to be doing alone."

She visibly blanched at her slip. With an endearing gawky awkwardness, she fumbled with her fork and busied herself with her napkin. He contemplated what to say next.

"Ahrmm...So I understand that you're with David again?"

She was taken aback by the change of topic. She decided to tread carefully.

"Yeah...He came to me with an apology. I couldn't say no," She said, thinking of her man at home and his reaction to her dashing visitor.

"He didn't look very pleased to see me, I surmised." He chuckled, taking a piece of steak and chewing it.

"Well, you pulled him away from his football game on the telly, I don't blame him."

"You know, when you mentioned my...affair with Agent Johnson." He felt like he was about to take the first deadly steps into an emotional minefield. She didn't respond to him, so he continued. "I think it ironic that you were so mad, now that I find that you're no longer single."

This elicited a chuckle from her, but he could sense maybe a little indignation in her face as well.

"Yes, but he came to me, I didn't go looking for him."

He shrugged. "Touche."

"How's your sandwich?"

"Fine I guess. How's your salad?"

"Fine, I suppose." She mimicked. The sun was beginning to set, the city outside began to dim as the street lights came on.

They ate in silence, each finished their meal and their waiter brought their bill. Before he could even lay a finger on it, Jane had grabbed it and paid. He felt a bit embarrassed that a woman had treated him instead of vice-versa. On their way out, he told her so.

"Contrary to what you may think, Moneypenny, I do make enough to pay for a lady's meal."

She laughed heartily at the flabbergasted look on his face.

"And so does a personal assistant! Come now James, are you really so old-fashioned that you'd feel so ashamed to let me pay for you?"

At his dark scowl, she was genuinely amused, yet she said nothing further on the matter. They walked together, her hand nestled in the crook of his arm as she related more about her holiday. Time seemed to run much too short as they came upon her front steps.

They stared at her door with equal disappointment. She gently extricated herself from his grasp and walked up to her front door. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, an unrecognizable emotion swimming in his deeply expressive eyes.

"Well, I guess this is goodnight."

He nodded. "Yes. For the record, I'm glad we had this time."

"Me too. I'll see you later."

"Bye."

She unlocked her door and stepped in, ignorant of the inner turmoil brewing in James's head.

* * *

The moment she stepped into her flat, David descended upon her with a hostile expression. She barely had time to close the door before the accusations began to fly. 

"Who was that?" He barked, despite the fact that she knew James introduced himself, even if it had been his alias Giles Mortimore.

She frowned at him as she realized that this was heading into another argument.

"A close friend of mine. Why are you so upset?"

He scowled darkly, causing her to cringe. They'd only just gotten back together and already they were having problems.

"You know bloody well why! Am I supposed to step aside with no qualms when some tall, dark and handsome chap shows up on my girlfriend's doorstep? Am I supposed to let you cavort about with other men with absolutely no reservations?"

She held up the palms of her hands in a peaceful gesture. She was alarmed at the near hysteria that had gotten into this normally pleasant, clear-headed man.

"Please, David, stop. Giles is only a friend from work, he and I have known each other for the better part of a decade. Occassionally we have casual dinners."

He rolled his eyes. "He didn't look too casual the way he was holding you."

She scoffed in disbelief. "You were watching through the window?! What kind of woman do you take me for?"

His reply nearly smacked her down with the sheer magnitude of the contempt in it.

"A woman with secrets. A woman that hides behind deceit. A woman that won't trust."

Now she had no idea what to say. He clearly believed that it was her choice to withold information about her job, when she had explained thousands of times before that such behavior was prohibited. He would hold that against her, always.

With a heavy heart, she sighed. "Darling, no matter how you try, I fear you will never understand_ me._"

He threw his hands in the air and stalked back into the sitting room, where the telly was still on and she could make out the noise of an ongoing talkshow. This was finally the end, there would be no making up this time, of that she was sure. She was compelled to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, they had only been together for a few weeks and next thing they knew, they were facing another breakup.

Moneypenny sagged against the door, her right hand still tightly gripped the knob. Depression crashed over her in its all-encompassing glory.

_One way or another, I always find ways to fuck it all up._

* * *

In the ungodly hours of the morning, Jane began to toss and turn under her comforter. The space beside her was empty and barren since David had taken the opportunity to escape from her home. He left without a word, and she didn't bother to call out after him as she cleaned her plates from dinner in the kitchen. 

She was alone again. Dreadfully, hideously, blatantly alone.

The stuffy air in her bedroom was pressing down upon her with such a weight she felt she would be crushed underneath it. Dreams plagued her, thoughts, memories, daydreams blending into one huge indistinguishable mass of emotion that she had no power to stop.

_The water beneath the boat skimmed effortlessly along, frequently splashing droplets onto her forearm that rested on the side of the boat. She was smiling, wild ginger hair flying behind her as they picked up speed. She ran her sight over the houses built atop the lush hills of the island, admiring the sight of the cove behind her. They were heading out to sea, but she didn't know why. _

_Nobody else was on the boat, she realized. All the other seats were empty, her curiosity was piqued. On wobbly legs, she made her way to the front of the boat to try and find out who was captain. Slightly turbulent waves hindered her already slow progress, it seemed like it took hours to reach the front._

_"Excuse me, sir, where are we going?" She tried politely, unable to glimpse at the captain's face._

_The man half turned, but it was enough. She recognized his profile at the blink of an eye._

_"We're headed to paradise, love." He said as he fully faced her, tears shining in his eyes._

_Before she could react to the unadulterated love she found in his face, the boat lurched violently and she was flung out of it. James was nowhere to be seen as she plummetted headfirst into the serene blue water._

_It was warm on contact, the temperature wasn't unbearable. She swam easily, eyes stinging from the salinity of the seawater._

_It was then that she spotted James, sinking like his body was deadweight and he was helpless to stop his descent. If she could, she would have cried out at the sight. She kicked furiously, propelling herself downward. She reached frantically for him, but she was not fast enough. He remained beyond her grasp._

_She kept swimming as she watched him disappear into the dark depths..._

"NO!" She screamed, jolting awake as she wrestled with the tangled bedsheets. Her chest heaved up and down with panic. After a few moments of hyperventilating, Moneypenny willed herself to calm down.

"Just a dream...just a dream." She whispered vehemently. She rolled off the bed and lumbered off to her study across the hall from her bedroom.

One of her ways of coping was occupying herself with various pieces of her favorite literature. She went to her bookshelf and scanned it sharply, letting out a triumphant cry when she found _Jane Eyre_ shoved between _Pride and Prejudice_ and _Wuthering Heights._ This novel always pacified her, and now she felt that she could rely on the book to steady her heightened despair.

She nestled herself comfortably in her threadbare armchair beside the oblong window and her desk, tucking her feet underneath herself. Her fingers caressed the pages of the care worn book. Jane wanted a moment of peace, to find something to grab onto amongst the ruthless current of events that was her life.

TBC...

A/N: I think the breakup was handled a little too quickly, hehe, but I just needed to get David out of the way already! Please R and R, tell me what you guys think.


	4. An Early Winter

**Chapter Four: An Early Winter**

Summary: In which Pen's stuck in a rut, and James tries to find out why. Life's never been more unpredictable. (FLUFF ALERT!!!!!!)

(Disclaimer from Ch. 1 still applies.)

A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers, you guys are the reason I persevere. School has been really tough, with my AP classes and extra-curricular stuff, I've never been more busy. Hang in there, I'm not giving up!!

* * *

Days trickled by and sped past at once. To Moneypenny, it felt as if she were trying to squeeze molasses through a sieve with all her might, only to discover that there was nothing to catch it and any progress she might have made was irretrievably lost. Things at the service had slowed to an uneventful lull, not very mentally stimulating or challenging. Each day morphed into an afternoon which segwayed into a restless night. She returned home alone, tired, sluggish and somewhat apathetic. Winter was definitely not Jane's best season. It brought nostalgia, melancholy and an overwhelming yearning to see her parents again. 

Lately, she'd been plagued by insomnia. She hated to sleep, closing her eyes called forth unbidden images of David and also led to nightmares that caused her heart to race, but as soon as she woke up, the memory of the dream had vanished, leaving her sweaty, frightened and unbearably alert.

She didn't really converse with James too much anymore, or any of the staff for that matter, but little did she know that they all had noticed the dark circles beneath her normally bright eyes and the way her shoulders slouched dejectedly when she was sat behind her desk. Moneypenny was stuck in a rut, but no one knew why. Only James had a hunch, Bill and Charles merely cajoled him into revealing his concern to Jane in hopes that she would either start to take better care of herself or tell them what was the cause for her recent behavior.

So, when James approached Moneypenny in the staff room, she responded with little warmth to his remarks.

"I hardly think my job is a beauty pageant, 007. You should take your opinion about my appearance and shove it up your bloody a-"

James held up the palms of his hands as if trying to ward off her oncoming profanity.

"Pen, we're worried about you. I'm sorry I wasn't too eloquent, okay?"

She huffed and threw a pointed glance at something behind him. She met his gaze with much irritation. "I don't need coddling, I need strong coffee."

"Jane, you're wearing yourself out. I can see the change in you, you're quick to snap at people, you've made multiple errors in your work-" At this she gawked, "Yes, M managed to let some things slip in regards to your current performance. Q has let on that your accuracy rate at the shooting range has declined alarmingly...Jane what's going on?"

He grew more and more indignant with every word. Jane looked as if she had run out of things to defend herself with, and he was alarmed to notice tears well up in her eyes. He watched with baited breath as a battle played out in her face, deceit and a need to hide warred against honesty and a longing to tell someone what was troubling her.

Deceit won.

"Nothing's going on. I..." Her eyes had slowly lost their misty glaze at this point, "I haven't been getting much sleep, that's all."

He contemplated the reasons why she might be so unusually evasive, and decided that she had helped him recover from so many low points in his life that it was about time he had an opportunity to return the favor.

"Alright," He demurred. "If you ever need anyone to talk to, you know my number."

As he turned around to join Bill and Charles by the cafeteria door, he noticed they both wore expressions of exasperation. Upon reaching them, they immediately bombarded him with questions.

"Why didn't you persist? She definitely wasn't 'alright!'" Bill hissed under his breath as they exited into the corridor.

"Yeah, if something's throwing _her_ off, then it's got to be serious, mate-" Charles added. James nodded in agreement and exhaled slowly. "I know her like the back of my hand. If I had pressed on it, she would have retreated further. I have a strategy." He added mysteriously.

None of the trio said anything further as they all retreated to their separate offices.

* * *

Later that evening after James finished a meeting with M in regards to their current status in the war of terror, he drove to Moneypenny's flat. He noticed that her brick-red Mini was parked in front of the building but all of her lights were off. He stepped out of the car, not even wincing as the biting evening winds blew past his lithe form. 

He walked up the front steps and rang her bell, but he didn't hear anything stir behind the door. He rang again and waited two minutes more before he placed his index finger and thumb over his chin with a frown knitting his brows. Where the hell could Jane Moneypenny be at 10:35 pm if she wasn't at home or work?

He glanced around the darkened street, everything grim and still and silent around him. _I'd find more cheer in a graveyard,_ He thought amusedly to himself. Then the seriousness of the situation washed over him once more and he suddenly realized the most likely place Moneypenny would be. He started in the immediate direction, not bothering to take his car because he didn't want to waste any time at all.

Soon his agitated pace morphed into a hurried jog. Anxiety made the blood thrum in his veins as he neared his destination. It was the bar where they shared dinner those few weeks ago.

James reached for the door and opened it, warmth swept over him as his body adjusted to the cozy temperature of the restaraunt. It was somewhat filled, couples, singles, and groups of university students scattered at different tables. The bar was reasonably occupied, but only one figure struck him.

There was a head of ginger hair that he would recognize anywhere, attached to a person he was sure was the one he'd been searching for.

James approached slowly, wanting to observe her before she knew of his presence. He noticed the bartender wore a look of utmost sympathy, as any bartender would become an expert in sympathy because they chose that profession, as he handed said ginger-haired woman another pint of lager.

With dawning realization, James took in the sight of the other three empty mugs surrounding her. That was when he snapped.

He took a seat in the stool next to her and laid a hand over the back of hers. She jumped, nearly falling out of her chair as a result of the sudden motion added with the effect of the alcohol.

"J-James," Her outcry was followed by a hiccup that he would have found endearing had the circumstances not been so strange.

"Yes, Pen. I've come to take you home." He said firmly, but with what he hoped was a tender expression. Moneypenny scowled vehemently and replied, "I can go out and have a drink alone if I wanted to. And how-" another hiccup,"-did you know I was here aaa...nnyway?" Her last word was obviously, humiliatingly slurred, completely contradicting the first part of her sentence. She blushed.

"I figured this was the closest pub within walking distance of your flat. You'd most likely be here, and I was right. You're downright snockered. Let me take you home, Pen, please. Then you can sober up and we'll have a good therapeutic cup of coffee by your fireplace, alright?"

His tone wasn't condescending, surprisingly, it was rather soothing to her troubled ears, and she found herself consenting. Jane stood on wobbly legs and waited for James to pay the bartender. They left the place together, James with an arm snugly wrapped around her waist so as to support her unsteady weight.

It took a good fifteen minutes to walk and semi-stumble back to her flat. By then, both were tired and cold. Moneypenny fished out her keys from her purse and unlocked the door. They entered the house, glad to be in a more comfortable, cheery setting. James removed his heavy coat and hung it on the stand next to the door and then helped her out of her own.

Jane was only wearing a fuschia pink thermal over a white tank top and some baggy gray sweatpants that hung loosely off of her hips. This brought a ghost of a smile to his lips, this was probably the most dressed down he'd ever seen her.

She shrugged off her Ugg boots and kicked them against the wall, not bothering to put them away in her shoe closet. She walked into the living room where she unceremoniously plopped down on the cushions of her couch. James followed and took a seat next to her. He was momentarily taken aback when Moneypenny positioned herself with her back against his torso, snuggling up to him as if he were merely a live pillow.

"Mmm...you're so warm, James. Why are men always so warm no matter how cold it is outside?" She asked fuzzily with half-closed eyes.

He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest and vibrating against her back. "I have no idea, darling. Probably to warm women up, I suppose." For once, James did not mean that remark as an innuendo. Tonight innuendos and double meanings did not belong in their interaction.

They sat in comfortable silence, Jane found the atmosphere so soothing that she closed her eyes and snuggled even closer to him, resting her cheek on his chest so that she could hear the beating of his heart. James didn't seem to mind, so she allowed herself to doze off.

* * *

Apparently they had both fallen asleep, because the next thing James knew, it was three in the morning. He yawned widely, and then glanced down at the woman who was snuggled against him. She looked peaceful, better than she had looked in weeks. He couldn't help but wear a small grin as she sighed and her eyelids fluttered open. 

She looked up at him, with a little bewilderment in her eyes, which soon disappeared as realization bloomed across her face.

Jane sighed contentedly and said, "This is nice."

"Yeah," He murmured, feeling rather drowsy. They held each other's gaze and before he could help himself, he lowered his head and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

She tasted faintly like strawberries and almonds. Her arms had snaked themselves around his neck in order to pull herself closer to him, his own were wrapped around her waist. She made a little noise in the back of her throat, so quiet he would have missed it if he weren't so focused on her.

He pulled away from her, breathing slightly labored. They stared at each other, completely still with the feeling of terror that made their hearts race.

"What was that?" She whispered. He was dumbfounded and inarticulate, he had no response that could adequately summarize the gentle kiss they had just shared.

"God, I'm sorry..." He said, feeling like an arse the moment the words left his lips.

She surprised him by rolling her eyes and snorting. "Yeah, James, I hated that."

He was amazed by how easily she diffused the situation and how normal she sounded. No longer did she appear depressed or gloomy, she looked comfortable and happy. James wondered vainly if it was because she happened to be nestled in his lap.

"Do you mind if I kiss you back this time?" She murmured, her naturally sultry voice never sounded so appealing.

Jane didn't wait for him to reply, she instead leant right forward and met his lips again but with a force he didn't expect her to have inside her.

Once again he tasted strawberries, such a light and delicious taste, one that compelled him to savour their kiss and the memory of holding her. Feral desire reared its demanding head and caused him to pull away with a gasp.

She frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"If we keep doing this, we might not like where it leads tomorrow."

Jane averted her gaze. She extricated herself from his arms and stood, wincing as her back and knees protested her sudden movement. James watched as she stalked over to the window and stood by it, watching the rain hit the sidewalk.

"I thought you'd want this, James. You were so desperate before, why are you hesitating now?"

Her tone nearly undid him. It was as if she were impatiently ordering coffee from an incompetent cashier.

"Before?" He coughed, also rising from the sofa. He moved to stand behind her, his temper simmering. At this, she turned to face him with a pensive look about her.

"Yes, before Korea, you wanted to have me. Before Korea you wanted to go out with me. Before Korea you said no one else would do. So why are you hesitating all of a sudden? Damn it James, either you want me or you don't. I mean, for heaven's sake, _you're_ the one who kissed me. You must've thought ahead before planning on ki-" She paused, her eyes widening, "-Oh my god. You weren't planning on it were you? You just thought of it on the spur of the moment, that's why..."

Jane was horrified at her own assumption. She raised her hands to cover her flaming cheeks and turned back around to face the darkened window.

He was almost as amused as he was disorientated at her incessant rambling.

"Jane, you're right. I had no ulterior motive behind my helping you home tonight, and I certainly wasn't planning on kissing you."

He could have sworn he heard a distraught cry that had been muffled by her shirt sleeves, but he continued nevertheless.

"-But I can't say that I regret it."

She had no response, and this fueled his own impatience. He seized her by her forearm and turned her around, effectively pinning her against the windowsill. He placed his hand under her chin to make their gazes level.

"I admit I am attracted to you Jane Vivien Moneypenny. It's been so noticeable how unhappy you're been for a long while, and I genuinely came here tonight to make sure you were going to be okay. I can't stand to see you looking how I feel sometimes." He murmured. His words seemed to take effect because she grew increasingly less tense under his grasp.

"...So you're attracted to me?" She whispered, a smile flitting over her lips.

He chuckled at her wonder. "Of course. How could I not be? You with your mesmerizing eyes that seem to hold all the world's knowledge in them, compassion, concern and mystery. You're always dependable, beautiful, and feisty as hell!"

She giggled at his analysis of herself. "Is that what everyone thinks of me?"

"My point is Jane, I believe I am falling in love with you, if I haven't always been since I first met you." His voice quivered at the end of his sentence, and the little sound, however quiet, just about made her heart melt.

"May I kiss you now, miss?" James asked cheekily. She giggled again and happily fell back into his embrace as the rain outside poured noisily outside.

* * *

TBC... 

A/N: I hope this was a good chapter. Please read and review people! I am very anxious for feedback. )


	5. Bring It On

**Chapter Five: Bring It On**

**Summary:** James and Jane are about to share their first Christmas together. But it's not going to be all cuddling with mugs of hot chocolate by the fireplace; Penny's sister and her husband are coming into town to inspect her new boyfriend.

**(Disclaimer from Ch. 1 still applies)**

* * *

The day was dying down slowly, the sun dulled and hidden by the mottled clouds that were spread across the sky. Moneypenny enjoyed lingering on the roof of the building when she had a moment to spare. The breeze ruffled her hair gently, and the sounds of distant traffic were oddly soothing. 

She leaned against the banister with her forearms supporting her weight. Moneypenny stared blankly ahead at the adjacent rooftops, thinking of the events of the day. Adrenaline had run high among the staff, and tempers had flared, particularly M's.

James was in France, investigating on behalf of MI-5, who'd been monitoring an arms dealer named Jacques Gusteau. He'd been there for two weeks, dressed in his trademark tux and flirting with the local casino-going crowd. Nothing seemed suspicious until Fererro Cardoza, a high profile Spanish businessman, checked into the same hotel as Gusteau.

Turned out the two were working out some kind of deal, but the omniscient 007 had saved the day, as always.

Moneypenny rolled her eyes at that, and then sighed. She had been there in the Operations Room when James and a team of shadow agents took down both Gusteau and Cardoza. She was glad that they were successful, and that there had been no casualties.

_Less paperwork for me, goodie._ She mused. Moneypenny straightened up and pulled out a cigarette and a lighter from her blazer pocket. She stared at it forebodingly, having quit smoking and stayed away from it for the past six years.

She shrugged and lit it, she figured she deserved it after the stress of the day.

When it came right down to it, the reason for her foul mood was what happened during the time before the arrests went down. James had been taking advantage of his time in Versailles and had openly flirted with a woman at the fundraiser dinner he attended.

The reason for him going was to observe Gusteau, not to have Vodka and to chat some bimbo up to point where she was practically hanging off his arm! It bothered her so much that she left the Operations Room as James's camera had displayed the whole thing across the big screen. M had reacted with her usual stony irritation, Q was going natters so she figured it wouldn't be out of the blue for her to leave.

Everyone would just think she was going to refill M's coffee mug. In reality, she was close to tears. Moneypenny didn't think it would be so hard to watch her boyfriend, her undercover super spy boyfriend mind you, have a lovely time with another woman.

It was an act.

It wasn't real.

Right?

_Shit. Of course he's going to flirt, it's as natural as breathing to him._ She thought, deeply inhaling and then slowly releasing a mouthful of smoke. She was confident of where she stood with James before he left, but now she was faltering. She didn't want to be a casual fling. Those words he said in her apartment stuck with her, she truly believed he loved her.

_I shan't make a big deal of it. I shan't kick his bits off. After all, it's not like he cheated on me with that woman. He didn't sleep with her._

But the camera had only been running whenever he activated it. What had he been doing behind the scenes?

The December chill had began to settle in, signaling early evening. She pulled her blazer around her tighter and then threw the cigarette to the floor. Jane put it out with the heel of her leather boot and then glanced at her Rolex watch.

6:10. Nearly time for James's arrival. She was planning on going to Heathrow to greet him, but she decided not to bother. She walked over to the lift and left the rooftop, feeling lost as ever.

* * *

"Jane! Jane, I'm home!" He called out, trying to balance his suitcase and duffel bag in one hand, with the keys in his other as he held the door open for himself. He hit the switch of the hallway light and set his suitcase by the door. 

"Jane?" He tried again.

"In here!" Came the muffled reply. He frowned and made his way into the kitchen, still with his heavy overcoat on. He found his dear Jane sitting on a wooden stool in their pantry, with her black rimmed glasses on. She was labeling cans and jars, apparently rearranging their canned goods and cereals.

James knew something was wrong immediately, Jane only fixed things compulsively when she was agitated. He pondered how to approach this. They had already gone through quite a few rough spots in the short time they'd been together, but they always managed to work it out.

"Hello, darling. How was your flight?" She asked, innocently enough. She put the can of beans she was holding in its appropriate place on the third shelf from the bottom.

"Fine. There was no delay, but I had a rather hard time acquiring my luggage. It's so plain and unrecognisable amongst the majority of the other blue and black suitcases. How are you holding up? I've missed you the past few weeks." He said truthfully. She didn't look very impressed, she was more focused on the jar she was holding.

Jane ripped a piece of masking tape and stuck it on the face of the jar. She opened her black marker and labeled it. With a sound of satisfaction, she placed it on the first shelf.

"Really now? Missed me so much you just had to have a drink with the delightful Miss Elena Jampanoi practically every evening you spent in Versailles?" She said it lightly, meant it humorously, but he could see right through her. He knew she hid behind humor when she was angry about something.

"She insisted on it. I couldn't refuse, but that doesn't mean I wanted to spend any time with her. I would've much rather been here with you, sweetheart."

She stood, dusting her hands off. He noticed she had a marker stain on her cheek, and he wondered how she could have possibly smeared herself with marker. It was so cute, he couldn't stop himself from reaching to her face and tracing his thumb over it.

"James?" Jane asked, questioningly.

He chuckled and replied, "You smeared marker all over your face, darling."

She sighed exasperatedly. "This marker was permanent. Damn it all to-" She was cut off by his warm, welcoming lips. She could feel stubble on his chin, as if he didn't have time to shave this morning.

In that moment, she silently forgave him. She was disappointed in herself for jumping to conclusions and mistrusting him.

"I'm sorry, James. It's been a long day, of course I missed you too."

He kissed her again and tightened his hands around her waist.

"I had no one to do the dishes!" She laughed, wriggling out of his grip and pushing past him into the kitchen. He laughed in response and took off his coat. He went to hang it up in the closet as Jane started dinner. She wasn't an expert chef or anything, that had been established very early.

However, Jane knew how to make basic spaghetti with meatballs. She already baked the meatballs the day before and had them in the refrigerator as well as the sauce, all she needed to do was boil the noodles.

James re-entered the kitchen wearing a grey t-shirt and plaid pyjama pants. He looked so at home in her flat, he had been staying at her place so often now that she was growing accustomed to him popping in unexpectedly. He always left little things of his lying around, like ties, combs, and toothbrushes.

He even had a whole drawer to himself in her bedroom. He kept a good amount of clothing at her flat, and it increased by the week. She had to start clearing her own closet to make room for his suits.

"It's almost ready. Give me a few more minutes..." She said, stirring the boiling pasta a little. He stepped up behind her and slid his arms around her waist again. She relaxed into his embrace, very much missing his musky scent and his velvet smooth voice.

"I'm glad you're home," She murmured, closing her eyes in contentment.

"Me too. I can think of loads of things I've been wanting to do to you..." He whispered promisingly into her ear. She made a husky little groan and he turned her around in his arms.

Their lips met slowly, sensuously. She molded to him, her bum pressed against the countertop with one leg around his own. She opened her mouth to him, deepening their kiss. He was entranced once again by the taste of almonds and strawberries, faintly sweet and lovely, just like the woman.

Soon evidence of his desire was pushed firmly into her thigh. She looked into his eyes and felt her own desire flare into life. She was about to bring his head to hers when a splash of hot water hit her back.

"Ah!" She cried as she jumped away from the counter. James erupted into laughter when he noticed that the pot of spaghetti was nearly overflowing. Jane scowled, massaging her lower back where the hot water had hit.

"This is the _last _time we snog in the kitchen!" She growled. She pushed him out of her way and turned the fire off.

"Give me a strainer." She said. He opened the cupboard where they kept strainers and pulled out the largest one. She took it without a word and put it in the sink. She lifted the pot, forearms flexing as she poured the water down the drain and the noodles fell into the strainer.

"Okay sit down and we'll eat. We'll need energy for the night ahead." She said suggestively, mirth dancing in those captivating eyes. He laughed again, feeling utterly at ease, and he was reminded why he loved this woman so much.

* * *

They spent the remainder of the evening in the bedroom, as was tradition whenever he came home from long periods away from her. He was sprawled out on the mattress, limbs entangled with hers. She rested one leg over his own, her warm body pressed against him. 

She ran her fingertips across his sternum, over the tiny ridges and discolorations she had come to memorize. His scars were each distinctive, unique to each mission he had survived, each wound he received under torture.

The most recent ones were most prominent, the scars from Korea. He had one that ran several inches along his bicep, that was an angry red. Besides that, he had a number of tiny spots from burns and tazer marks. Sometimes, she teared up when she studied the more vicious ones on his stomach and back.

"I wish I could kiss your scars away." She whispered. He exhaled and peeked down at her through squinted eyes.

"That's sweet of you Jane. If it makes you feel better, I think of them as trophies. Souvenirs from things I've lived past against all odds."

His flippancy always puzzled her. She never could really understand the minds of professional spies.

"Don't you ever get tired? Tired of how nothing seems to change no matter how many bad guys you eliminate?"

He turned on his side to face her. The lines on his face made him look older, more distinguished. He had the look of a man who had seen his death, spat in its face and walked away unscathed. She liked the way his thick brows furrowed when he was contemplating what to say.

"Sometimes. But I try to remember that these people are only trying to survive. They all have families they're trying to feed, usually they're driven to do what they do because of their desire to provide for them. They weren't born evil."

"I suppose that's true. Everyone's just trying to make their way in the world, in any way they can."

She stretched luxuriously under the covers with a big, ineloquent yawn.

"You remind me of a cat when you do that." He chuckled, tracing intoxicating patterns on her side.

She smiled radiantly at him, and his eyes reflected her own image back at her by catching what little light there was in the room.

"Don't you ever change, Jane." He said before kissing her.

* * *

It was Saturday morning next thing they knew. At around 8, the phone went off, startling Jane out of sleep. She scrambled out of bed and threw on a bathrobe. Groggily, she padded into the den where she grabbed the offending electronic device and pressed it to her ear. 

"Hello?" She muttered, vision still fuzzy. She rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes in an attempt to eliminate the sleepiness.

"Janey darling! Good morning. Hope I didn't wake you." A voice practically shouted on the other end. It was one annoyingly chirpy, much too hyper for this early in the morning. Jane instantly knew it to be her sister Helena.

"Helena, good morning to you too. Of course you didn't wake me. Because people aren't still sleeping in at these hours-" She couldn't repress the sarcasm, it came out as inevitably as a sneeze would.

"Oh good. Listen, I had a lovely idea last night that David and I could come down to London to visit you on the 21st. If it's alright with you, we'd like to stay til Christmas, I do _not_ want you spending the holidays all alone like last year."

"What's today? The 18th? God, couldn't you have waited til noon to call?"

A barkish laugh rang through her ear, she had to hold it farther away for a second to recover from the impact.

"Oh but I needed to know if it was alright before David took off from work. So can we? Kate is just dying to see her Auntie Jane. It's not like you've already made plans-" The almost snooty assumption made Jane's hackles rise.

"Now look here Helena Westbrook, just because I don't like to make a big deal about being alone doesn't mean I'm a total fool who can't properly enjoy herself! And for your information, I won't be alone this year even if you don't come. Because I am seeing someone, and we're nearly living together. So if you don't mind..."

A gasp. Jane cringed, she knew what that meant.

"Oh my God, no way! Who is it? What's his name, how'd you meet, how long have you been together, why don't I know about this and how come you-"

"Stop, you sound like an over eager American schoolgirl. Christ!"

"Sorry. We're definitely coming. I have to meet this guy."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. She could imagine her younger sister, clutching the phone with her thin fingers, excitement and nosiness clearly illuminated on her pretty face.

"Well invite yourself over why don't you." Jane heaved a dramatic sigh, "I'll have to prep him. There's no telling what kind of torture you people will have in store."

* * *

After another brief, teasing exchange, Jane laughed and hung up the phone. She turned around and ran face first into a masculine wall. 

"What torture? What are you up to, Moneypenny?" James asked with a playful glint in his eye.

She put her hands on her hips and glared mockingly. "It's rude to eavesdrop. But if you must know, my sister and her family insist on visiting for the holidays. I let slip that I was dating someone to my sister and now she is more bent on coming down here than ever."

He rose an eyebrow in that arrogant little way of his that he so perfected over the years.

"Oh? And what did you tell her about me?"

"Just that I was seeing somebody. A nobody."

He pulled her body flush against his. "A nobody, eh? And do you love this nobody?"

She looked especially mischievous as she replied. "I love this nobody with all my heart. Now let's eat breakfast, I want to run some errands this morning. I have to mail a ton of Christmas cards."

He let go of her but he couldn't resist giving her an affectionate pat on the bum as she she walked away.

* * *

A/N: 

The links to my new James/Moneypenny shipper vids are on the forum, check them out please:-)


	6. Home for the Holidays Pt 1

**Chapter Six:** Home for the Holidays Pt. 1

**Summary:** The holidays are rapidly approaching, which means MI-6 will be throwing its annual formal Christmas dinner. No one but Penny's sister and her family knows about James' and Jane's relationship yet, will they go as a date? And how will the Westbrooks take to Jane's new beau?

**A/N:** YAY, next chapter's up. Please read and review, people! Sorry it took so long.../looksaroundsheepishly/

Also, merry belated Christmas!!!

* * *

"If you don't mind me sayin' ma'am, I rather like the red one on you." The mousy salesgirl said as they both stared at Jane's reflection in the mirror of the dressing room. Jane lifted her arms to inspect the side seams and how the bodice felt.

"It's comfortable, more than the other five I tried on." Her gaze took her eyes back to the disheveled pile of evening gowns on the floor. She'd tried on a deep purple satin gown, a green silk shantung cocktail dress and a cobalt blue one that severely washed out her skin tone. Among the others were yellow, pink, sage green and metallic grey dresses, all of them fit badly on her.

She turned from left to right, appraising the fit of the gown on her body. It was a very beautiful piece, she admitted to herself, and she adored the collar where the silk chiffon fabric tied into an elegant bow around her neck. The silk skimmed over her hips and thighs, flaring gently out around her ankles.

"This was made by..." Jane plucked the price tag from the side of the dress, "Allen Schwartz?" She noticed the expensive price and winced internally, this was not going to be very good for her bank account.

"Yes, ma'am. Shall I bring it out for you while you get re-dressed?" The salesgirl asked hopefully. She was paid on comission so she was obligated to serve Jane in every way possible if it meant selling a designer dress at full price.

The reason why Jane Moneypenny had spent the whole Sunday out shopping was because the service was having its annual formal Christmas party in three days, and she wanted to look good for James. He hadn't asked her if she wanted to go as his date, but she assumed that they would.

So Jane went ahead and told the girl to charge the dress to her credit card and have it placed on a hanger in a garment bag.

She threw on her original outfit which was a black empire waist tunic and dark stovepipe denims tucked into knee high brown leather boots and hurried to pick up her purchases at the counter.

It was only midday when she arrived home to Ennismore Gardens, in a flurry of shopping bags. She shrugged off her coat after she shut the door, shivering at the chilly draft that blew into her flat.

James was not home, he was scheduled for a whole afternoon of briefings with M and the Minister of Defense until 1700 hours, and then he was to report to Q Branch for an update on the latest stuff. Moneypenny planned to spend the day lounging around at home, she'd finished with her shopping and now was content to have a lie down in front of the telly.

As she plunked down on her cushy sofa, she reviewed her purchases mentally. Her first stop was a little bookstore, where she had bought her niece Kate a few children's books for Christmas gifts. She selected some that she had read as a child, most particularly _Swallows and Amazons._

Jane had been about to pay when she spotted _Middlemarch_ amidst the clearance section. She paused to look it over, a fond smile settling on her lips. This was the book she'd read to James when he'd been confined to the hospital after he took a nasty fall off the roof of a moving train in pursuit of an informant turned bad in Azerbaijan.

He had fractured several ribs as well as his arm and was quite put out about being put on the inactive roster. Bill Tanner suggested that she go and cheer him up, which she would have done anyway even if he hadn't recommended it.

What was intended to be a one time visit turned into a habitual routine that she maintained until James fully recovered from his injuries. She read to him everyday at his bedside, talked to him about trivial matters and lightly scolded him for risking his life in such a brash and foolish way.

_I guess I loved him even then,_ Jane thought as she'd handed the cashier a twenty pound note.

Jane was all in all satisfied with what she spent a month's salary on, and turned on the telly without any further ado. She found a nice home and garden show on, so she watched as a family in Yorkshire had their house made over by a team of professional interior designers.

Being a compulsive neat freak, this show was exactly her cup of tea. The hour passed ever so quickly, and soon the telly began to bore her. She got up from the couch and went into the kitchen for a glass of water.

_I want to go running._ She thought to herself. She looked at the clock up on her kitchen wall and saw that it was 1:50, nearly 2:00 and she still hadn't eaten any lunch. She and James had shared a large breakfast in bed, naturally her appetite was not present yet.

Jane decided to change into active wear and indeed she went for a run. She slipped her trainers on and laced them tight. Her iPod holder was strapped around her right arm so that she could jog without having the wires jangle annoyingly in front of her.

Her run lasted for about an hour, she made several rounds around the block. Her stamina was excellent, she had worked out regularly for a while and never missed a session. Running cleared her mind, made her alert and kept her healthy.

After her run, she stopped by a cafe for a bite to eat. She took her time in eating, and once she was finished, she simply sat back and observed the passersby. People watching had been one of her favorite activities as a child.

She was almost home when she noticed some faint footsteps constantly resounding on the concrete behind her. Jane didn't think too much of it at first, since she'd known someone was walking behind her for the past fifteen minutes. It was a man of an undistinguishable age, she only caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye. From what she could tell, he was wearing a dark windbreaker and jeans with the hood pulled up over his head.

He was talking on his mobile for a little bit, she eavesdropped a bit and discerned that he was supposedly talking to his mother. However, twice, she experimentally walked faster and noticed that he too picked up his pace whenever she did.

This strange behavior began to scare Jane, so she took off at a run towards her flat. She yanked her keys out of her pocket, fumbling slightly upon reaching her front door. Jane was out of breath with fright as she jammed the key in and let herself inside the welcoming shelter of her house.

She quickly slammed the door shut, locked it and then bolted it for good measure. With an apprehensive eye, she stood on her tiptoes to look through the peephole. The man had momentarily paused in front of her flat, but no longer than three seconds did he linger. Instead, he simply walked on, turning the corner and disappearing from sight.

"Hello Jane-"

She jumped and let out a tiny yelp, instinctively pressing her back against her front door.

It was James, holding a frying pan in one hand and a spatula in the other. He looked equally bewildered as she was.

"Oh, thank God, James. I've just had quite the scare." She walked over to him and pecked his lips.

"Why, what happened?"

"I could have sworn a man followed me home just now. I managed to outrun him and lock the door before anything could happen." Jane admitted, lightly shivering.

"Is he still out there?" James asked, his gaze leaving hers to stare at the front door.

"No, he walked away. But I had the worst feeling when he was walking behind me. I've had training about being followed by enemy spies, James, and that was exactly what it felt like. I...I can't explain it, even though I distinctly overheard him having an innocent conversation on his mobile, he could have been feigning it. Oh hell, maybe I'm just turning into a paranoid, adrenaline junkie or something- "

"Would you feel better if I had a look outside darling?"

She immediately protested. "No, I don't want you going out there. I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill."

"I'm glad you're alright. This city is full of loons."

"Yes, I suppose it is." Jane chuckled. "So why are you home so early?"

He mock-pouted, still with his frying pan and spatula gripped in his hands. "Why, aren't you happy to see me? Q's lessons didn't take very long, he always makes everything sound ten times harder than it actually is. He assigned me a new car, a Lexus I.S. 300."

She grinned at him, "Remember double oh seven, I want everything returned in _pristine _condition!'" Penny was very talented when it came to impersonating Q. Her sing song imitation of a male voice never ceased to make him laugh. He retreated into the kitchen and continued where he left off with his cooking before he heard Jane come in.

"Ah, well, I'm glad you're home." She sighed as she filled a glass of water and moved to sit at the table. She observed him, lithe and languid as ever, while he hovered over the steaming pot of what she assumed was zucchini.

"Oh, by the way, I sort of...let slip about what's been going on between the two of us to M."

She sat up at that, looking shocked.

"You did? But I thought we agreed we'd tell her when we were both ready!"

He turned to look at her, a peculiar gleam in his dark blue-grey eyes. She never got over the sensation of how his gazed pierced through her, he seemed to be able to see into her innermost thoughts. It was all rather disconcerting really, but in a good way.

"Yes, that is true, but I needed to make some arrangements you see. When a double o gets involved in a serious relationship, he or she is legally required to inform their superiors, and from there, an extensive background check is initiated on the significant other."

She arched an eyebrow at that. As long as she worked for MI-6, she never knew about that particular regulation.

"Oh. And by 'serious,' you mean, something quite deep, right? Something that could seriously affect the double o's performance in the field. Or the classic case where the significant other is an undercover enemy, and heaven forbid should they compromise their lover!" She said, a little melodramatically. James continued to bustle about the stove, his creation smelling more and more wonderful by the minute.

"Why yes, Jane. And the one we're in definitely qualifies." He stirred something in one of the pots and walked over to her where she sat. Jane peered up at him through her eyelashes, a questioning look in her eyes.

"Will you come to the Christmas party as my girlfriend, Jane Vivien Moneypenny?" He asked very very seriously, with the most endearing quirk at the corner of his mouth.

"What do you think, you silly man? Of course I will," She said, smiling. "Besides, I already went out and bought my dress this afternoon."

He looked appropriately contrite. "What if I hadn't asked you today?"

"Then I'd find another place to wear it." Jane admitted with a gurgle of melodious laughter.

He gazed at her with unconcealed affection when the doorbell suddenly rang. Jane sprang up, anticipating that it was her sister with her family, just in time for dinner.

She was right.

"Janey-poo!" An impressively high voice squealed in delight in the hall, James listened as the women greeted each other and who he assumed was Jane's brother in law as he also extended his greeting. They were chatting and hanging up their coats as he hurriedly removed his soiled apron and made sure all the food was set. He then ventured out into the hall, where he first saw Helena Moneypenny-Westbrook and her husband Lionel, as well as their charming little daughter Kate.

Just as he approached, he realized with a fleeting flash of panic that never in his life had he remained in a relationship long enough to meet any in-laws.

He thought as he shook their hands, _There's a first time for everything, I suppose...

* * *

_

**TBC**

A/N: Sorry it took so long! Next chapter is the party and interaction with the Westbrooks...


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